Sugar-Ketchup-Hotdog-Spaghetti.

Is about as delicious as it sounds. It’s the Honduran version of Italian food. I feel like the Hondurans don’t watch nearly enough food-network. Because if they did, they would learn that spaghetti does not include sugar, ketchup, or hotdogs. But never fear my friends, because on very special days they add a dash of cinnamon. Then it’s Sugar-Ketchup-Cinnamon-Hotdog-Spaghetti! I know you’re going to rush out and add that to your recipe collection…

The past two weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotion. Ups and downs. I will focus on the ups because I am borrowing a computer and it is quicker and more entertaining to focus on the good stuff. And the bad stuff is just depressing.

So we moved to Pespire which I have decided loosely translates to “Inferno.” I think the phrase should now be “When Pespire freezes over.” I am not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just f*cking hot. I don’t know how hot it is because everything is in Celsius here. I’m glad I don’t have any reference for Celsius. Because I’m pretty sure it would just make me hotter if I know how hot I was. I bucket-bath 3 times a day and am already sweating when I dry off. The only reason I don’t sleep naked is because I’m afraid of the bugs and where they may or may not go… But that’s okay. It could always be rainy and hot. We will be leaving this area by the time the rainy season starts.

I am concerned though, because my trainers think I should be super happy to be in this heat because I’m from Florida. I burst their bubble by saying “Uhhhh, we have air conditioning in Florida and we don’t go outside without a beer and a swimming pool.” And they went “Oh…..” And put a note in my file. I hope that means I will NOT be going to the south…

So we went to the circus the other day. I have decided that the single biggest mistake in my life was not taking a camera to this event. It was smart because I probably would have been robbed being the only gringa in the circus tent and snapping photos like a tourist. But it is a shame I could not capture that moment for you all. It was complete with big tent, really sketchy seats that were basically 2×8 boards slotted into frames (I thought I was going to fall 10 feet to my death for sure), a humanito (my new favorite Spanish vocab word which means “little human”), a family of entertainers, and a really mediocre show. It cost 15 lempira which is about 80 cents.  Best 80 cents of my life.

Best part of the circus was when I asked my host-cousin “Hey, are those shaved ices made with pure water?” and she looks at me incredulously and says, “Are you serious? Have you seen running water around here? That water is straight out of the pila.” And I was like “DEAR GOD!”  So I bought a soda.

Best decision of my life was to buy a Honduran soccer jersey. I really should just buy 7 so I have one for every day. I got way less piropo’s and way more friendly non-creepy things shouted at me in the street. I am, however, going to stay indoors with everything locked with US plays Hondu.

We went surveying last week to do an actual water system for a seriously depressingly poor aldea near here. Those people are quite destitute. I did take some pictures and will post them when I get a good internet connection. It made me sad. I hope they can actually build the water system. Unfortunately, it will mostly have to be Galvanized Steel because it is really rocky, which is about 10 times the cost of buried PVC.

On a lighter note, my engineer friends will enjoy this. We were surveying with Abney levels and sticks. Our equipment is from like the 60’s. so we had two sticks the same size, and we would measure the angle with a bubble of water and then read the angle on the outside of the level. And then we would measure the distance with a tape measure. That is crazy outdated. That was 2 weeks ago. This week we upgraded to Theodolites from the 1980s. I felt better about life but we still laughed at how we actually had to like, READ angles and do math. But it was really fun. PC gets their equipment donated so that’s really the best they could do. Some lucky people get total-stations from the 1990’s. But only in the really flat areas in the south. Anyway, most of you probably were bored by that whole paragraph. But I feel like Mort enjoyed it. That was all for you, Mort.

Last week we had a Spanish class all about social Taboos. It was freekin’ frustrating AND freekin’ hysterical. It was like having a sex talk with your parents, but instead it is with your very awkward Spanish teachers. They had to tell us what we already knew “In Honduras, you don’t really want to talk about sex, homosexuality, abortion, politics, or abuse.” Uhhhhhhh okay. The best part was that we learned a ton of words for all of the parts of the human anatomy so that when we get them shouted at us in the street we can’t be blissfully ignorant.

My friend Jill was telling her girlfriend in the states about this training and was reading off all of the words we learned. Her girlfriend said, “You know, if your host mom is standing outside your door right now, all she can hear is ‘Penis, penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.”

We had our 2^nd language interview this week. I raised my level by a plus. So now I am Intermediate-medium +. I think that they did this to appease me. There are no plusses in their rubric. I see through their ruse. But I appreciate it too. I haven’t mastered what is required to move up. Namely, the preterite/imperfect and por/para. These are the bane of my existence. Apparently it is really hard to move up to Intermediate-High. But I did get a plus. So that’s nice.

This week is holy week. I’m sure most of you knew that. But holy week in Honduras is freekin’ amazing. My family turned their living room into a store overnight. I thought they were crazy in this economy. I was a stupid gringa. Because so many people come into Honduras (all the illegal aliens come home to visit) and in from the surrounding areas. Their store has been absolutely packed. They are going to bank. And by bank I mean they will probably make 100 american dollars.

Washing your clothes by hand blows. I have mad respect for all those who have had to or do have to wash their clothes by hand. It’s a great time to think because you don’t really have anything else to do but think. I feel like if I washed clothes by hand all day long I could cure cancer. But I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because my hands would have no skin on the knuckles an I wouldn’t be able to write a report to share with the medical community. What a shame that would be. So instead I just wash my clothes and bandage my wounds until the next time.

Anyway, I have a lot more to talk about but I have to give Randy back his computer. I will try to update you with the other goings-on soon.

Oh, I have not commented on poop once in this whole blog. That is totally out of custom.  I have been lucky here in Pespire. I sweat so much that I just don’t have to poop. I don’t know how that works exactly, but I try not to think about it too much. Anyway, let me share with you some bucket-flush etiquette. When you flush your toilet with a bucket of water, always lift the toilet seat up first. This prevents splashing on the seat for the unsuspecting gringa who then sits in a puddle of clean, yet wet, water. Also, be sure to stand a healthy distance from your toilet before you throw the water into it. This prevents bounce-back. This is when the water in the toilet bounces back onto your pants and shoes. This is not a fun experience and is rather frustrating since you also have to wash your pants by hand. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “poopoo-pants.”

Until next time!