Catching Up, New Digs, and The State of Being Awkward.

Hi all,

Sorry I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks. I didn’t have internet access my last week of training and in the nights my friends and I were hanging out a lot. And then this past week was just kind of weird in a new town and I didn’t find the internet café for awhile. I kept trying to encourage the internet connection at my work to work, but it never did. Possibly because we have onlyhad power 5 out of my 10 days here…

Anyway, so surprisingly little has happened the past two weeks. The last week of training was basically policy, policy, and a little bit more policy with some health training and security training thrown in for fun. The health training was basically receiving our medical kits and a brief seminar on mental health which basically went like this “Don’t drink a lot when you are sad. Instead, call your friends or read a book!” The security training was pretty much the funniest thing I have seen in training in awhile. Our security officer, who I am going to put on the front of a shirt with the phrase “Change the scenario, poop your pants,” brought in a security officer from the US Embassy office to talk to us about security (basically to bring Juan Carlos’s message home). This guy looked like a very typical police officer with clean shaven face, crew cut, muscular, 100 cell phones, southern accent, tight fitting pants, the whole nine yards. But he was so funny the way he explained things. For example:

On Transportation Safety:

“Guard your items closely. I mean, we don’t even let our people TAKE the busses in Honduras, but you guys, you know, you have to. But it’s okay, don’t worry.”

Ummm… thanks?

On Pickpocketing:

“Man you have to watch out for those kids pickpocketing. Like, in Rome? Those gypsy kids? They are an aggressive bunch!”

Ummm… wha?

On Honduras Security:

“You know, I get an extra 20% for being here. (hazard pay) But you know, the statistics are really difficult to understand. All different organizations say all different things. So I have done a lot of research on where Honduras stands in the world as far as being dangerous and from all I can tell it’s around 5-7. But you know, that’s all related to drugs, so just don’t do cocaine and you’ll be fine.”

Ummm… deal.

On Sexual Assault:

“Well, uh, you see, uh, there are times you should fight back, you know? Like, you know, with sexual assault, you gotta fight, you know? So like, you have to change the scenario (Juan Carlos smiles right here), and you know, be disgusting. Have you guys talked about this?” (he is very awkward right now)

“Yes, we have!” we scream in chorus.

“So you know, like you could, you know, you could vomit on yourself.”

“POOP YOUR PANTS,” yells Katp.

“Thaaaat would do it.”

On Home Safety:

“You know, we live in really nice, secure communities with guards and all. And you know, my house is nicer here than in the states. But you guys, you live out in the sticks. So you gotta be careful. You don’t have walls and guards like we do.”

O_o

On Tortillas:

“So yeah, it’s pretty tough here sometimes even us with all our security in the embassy.”

“Do you eat corn tortillas three times a day?” yells Katp (again).

“No, we don’t really eat tortillas in my house.”

“Then you don’t know pain.” I yelled.

So that was pretty much the highlight of the last week of training.

So the day of swear in was quite the adventure. It started out with me trying to figure out what to wear. I had a dress that I didn’t want to wear (shocker) and I didn’t have a strapless bra for it (good planning). So, I started asking anybody close to my size if they had a bra I could borrow and I finally found one. But then, the day before swear in I go to try on the bra with the dress and it turns out that I had left the dress near the window, it had rained, and then there was a big water stain on it. Of course, there aren’t dryers here so there was no way this was going to dry even if I bothered to wash it. So, then I was asking around for a dress to wear. But Jilldozer also didn’t want to wear a dress so we made a pact to wear pants and a nice shirt. So, the only pair of pants that I have that will work have mad soap stains and look like they are grey and white tie dyed. This is because I can only wash clothes in English. I really suck at washing my clothes in Spanish.

So, I’m wearing my tie dyed pants and a nice shirt. So I get up the next morning, get dressed, grab my camera (which is the only thing we can take into the embassy other than our ID), and walk down to the bus. Everybody looks rather smashing, which was disconcerting as we all looked like hell for 11 weeks and suddenly everybody is all cleaned up and looking like I imagine they probably did pre-Peace Corps. So I go to snap a photo (because I am camera happy if you haven’t noticed) and my camera doesn’t work! I had left the battery in the charger! DOH! Of all the days. So I lamented about this for awhile until Yilli says “So, I have taken 50 pictures our entire time here. Do you want to be in charge of my camera?” “YES!!!” So I scored a camera. Later that day, when I gave her the camera back, she passes me a note during a meeting that says “You took 133 pictures on my camera!” Oops. I’m going to have to get those pictures somehow…

So at 8am we arrive in Teguc at the PC office, where we are supposed to meet our counterpart. The counterpart was to come to swear in, then to an afternoon of meetings, and the next day was to help us get all of our crap to our new homes (the lucky ones via a car, the unlucky ones via bus). This was the beginning of the past 8 days of awkwardness that makes uncomfortableness look like a snuggly blanket with hot cocoa. So anyway, my counterpart never showed up. So there I stood. Looking rather awkward yet dashing in tie dyed pants. How very…. Peace Corps of me.

Thankfully, one other person didn’t have a counterpart either, so he and I buddied up. So we took the bus to the Embassy where we were to swear in. The embassy was rather elegant, as I would imagine an embassy should be. We swore in outside in the garden area which actually had green grass! I took a picture of it. Both the garden and just the grass. So I looked at the program and I was to go second after the Honduran national anthem. I knew right away this was going to be bad because the Honduran anthem ends on a high note. So I moseyed up to the stage and stood on the left side while Carlos M conducted the Honduran anthem on the right side of the stage. And I suddenly realized, I’m standing in front of at least 50 Honduran nationals, and I left the words to the Honduran anthem on my seat… So my eyes got really big as I am standing in front of all these people and can’t sing along. So my friends saw my panic stricken face and start moving their mouths with over-annunciation so I could try to lip read. This doesn’t work (YOU try to lip read in Spanish!), so I go with the old standard “watermelon.” I don’t know if watermelon works in Spanish, but that’s what I sang the whole time while praying that the video camera didn’t come anywhere near me, and while watching my friends laughing at me in my terror. So after the Honduran anthem came the Star Spangled Banner. Which, of course, we immediately sang starting with the last note of the Honduran anthem (this is all without music, btw.). Horrible. Worst thing ever is to start the Star Spangled Banner too high. Ouch.

So after that there were a multitude of speeches from the Honduras PC Director, the Honduras Ambassador, some important people, and one of our own. Then, we took the oath, and when we repeat the last part “…as a Peace Corps volunteer” I cried. I’m not normally an event-crier, but you know, it was a cool moment. So we all cheered and hugged and jumped up and down like nutters. Then we took approximately 133 pictures and ate cake and then were ushered back to the busses to go back to the training center.

At the training center we ate a rather lovely lunch and then my counterpart showed up! The rest of the afternoon wasn’t really noteworthy. We had lots of meetings, talked about expectations, blah blah blah.

Then, because we all live in 5 different neighborhoods, many of us had to say goodbye that afternoon. It was very teary. You know, 3 months with the same people in a highly intense, foreign situation (literally), day after day, under difficult circumstances, makes people close. I saw a few people that night, but only the people in my neighborhood. So it was tough.

The next morning I got up to go to Sabanagrande. My counterpart was 3 hours late picking me up, which I consider my induction into service as a volunteer. This is not abnormal. Then 2 hours later I arrived at my new home in Sabanagrande. And then the awkwardness was augmented to a level not yet described by the English language. That’s the nice thing about Spanish. I can say something like “awkwardissimo” which would be like WAY more awkward than just awkward. But that’s Spanglish.

Anyway, so my host family is nice. They are rather shy people and my brothers don’t really talk to me much. My sisters kind of look at me like “Oh! You’re still here!” I have been forcing myself upon my host mom by randomly showing up in the room she is in and sitting there. Best move I have made was buying some “pan” which means “bread” normally, but in Honduras means “really stale dry cookie.” (I wonder what they are doing with the word for cookie…) I offered them up (okay, I’m going to be honest here. I was trying to buy ONE cookie to drink with my coffee the other day and I accidentally bought a whole bag because I’m white and don’t know what is going on half the time.). So I offered them up to my host mom and since then we have been having coffee together in the afternoons. Which is nice because my family doesn’t eat together, so I eat alone, and this is the time where you usually integrate and get to know people.

Integration into Sabanagrande has been difficult, as expected. The people here are really nice, stare (of course), but if you say hello to them they get big grins and say hello back. I’m also really lucky in that I am a fan of soccer. There is a little conchita (have I said this before?) in front of the school where they (they being the boys and men) play soccer all evening and into the night. So I went to the park a couple of times to watch and they let me play with them. I can’t hold a candle to the way they play, but I can trap and pass and I occasionally score so they let me play. That has helped a lot in that the guys all now say hello to me in the streets or say “va a jugar?” (going to play tonight?) instead of saying horribly inappropriate things to me.

On the flip side, I am having trouble meeting the women in the town because they don’t really go out in the evenings and they generally stick close to home. The women at my work are really nice but very timid (cultural thing). I think over time we will end up being friends. I hope.

A friend and I were talking the other day about how ridiculous directions are here. The way people give directions always includes “arriba” and “abajo” which are “up” and “down.” And from there you have to know landmarks. For example, “Where is the two-types-o-cheese store?” “Go arriba, it’s near the dog food store, behind the paint store, but closer to the bread store.” “Great, thanks.” So what you do, is you go to the dog food store, and you say “Where is the two-types-o-cheese store?” And they say “Go arriba, it’s by Don Jose’s house on the corner.” And you continue until you find the store.

So the electricity doesn’t work on the weekends here. This is rather odd. It rains frequently which knocks out the power for at least a few minutes every day. But I think on the weekends either nobody is there to fix it, or they are too drunk to fix it. So the past two weekends there has been no power.

The rain here is very Florida-esque. It rains every day starting between 2-4 and rains for a couple of hours. Usually torrential downpour type rain. This is nice because it cools off the temperature and makes the nights rather lovely. But then the next day it is humid as hell. Plus, my laundry never dries. THAT, my friends, is annoying.

I have now lived with three host families and I have come to the following conclusion: Spaghetti is universally horrible in Honduras.

My mom cooks everything in lard. No really, lard.

All of the stores in Sabanagrande are mislabeled. This is confusing to the local gringa. For example, there are two hardware stores. One is a hardware store. The other is a grocery store. There are two internet cafés. One is an internet café. The other is a personal residence. There are at least 10 buildings with “Tigo” painted on it. None of these places sell Tigo phone cards, but the hardware store does. There are two meat stores that are not labeled at all. I am grateful for this. I never want to find them again.

A Honduran man stopped to ask me directions yesterday. I was legitimately baffled at this. Really? You are going to stop and ask the white girl with the thick American accent where the hardware store is? I told him to go arriba. I either sent him to a hardware store or a grocery store. I’m not sure which.

So nothing is happening at my work just now. This is normal, but really dull. It takes quite awhile for work to start coming in for the volunteers. That, and I’m supposed to be integrating and practicing Spanish for the first couple of months. They are taking inventory and reorganizing the office right now so I don’t have a desk, a work space, a task, nothing. I just sit here. Then I wander away for awhile, and sometimes I wander back.

The Hondurans have mastered the art of always looking busy while never really doing anything. I’m trying to master this skill so that I don’t go crazy before I get something to do. I have already learned to walk significantly slower. I’m also slowly learning how to always be doing something no matter how ridiculous or mundane. This is my typical day (for now… dear god please, just for now…)

7:00am: Ignore my alarm approximately 4 times. Thus deciding that I will go run tomorrow. I mean, how bad can lard ACTUALLY be for you?

7:40: Get out of bed because if I don’t my mom will comment on how I slept late.

7:45: Wander outside and take a shower. Decide if I want to take off my flip flops or not. Opt to take them off. Nobody likes squishy flip flops.

7:55: Get dressed. Wonder if T-shirt is appropriate. Opt for collared shirt. Look longingly at my T-shirt.

8:00: Sit and stare at wall. Ponder the meaning of life.

8:15: Eat breakfast. Stare at wall in dining room.

8:20: Return to room. Stare at family/friend pictures on my wall. Decide that I should probably get a move on. Lots to do!

8:25: Walk the 5 minute walk to work in 10 minutes. Choose paths that avoid groups of young men. Wonder what the dog food store ACTUALLY sells. Bread? Perhaps?

8:35: Say hello to everybody in the office. Try hard to remember their names. Sit in a chair. Look confused and bored. Hope nobody talks to me. Wish somebody would talk to me.

9:30: Wander away to buy a soda. Say hello to the lady in the hardware store that’s actually a grocery store.

9:40: Go back to work. Sit in a chair. Look confused and bored. Try to understand what people are saying to me. Laugh when the others laugh. Hope I’m not laughing at myself. Smile and nod.

10:30: Wander outside. Sit on the steps. Take soda bottle back to Liar-Hardware store.

11:00: Go back inside. Try to use the non-functioning internet. Give up. Look terrified when people talk to me. Try to converse.

12:00: Wander home for lunch. Stop in park. Talk to the soccer guys. Don’t understand a word they say as they speak in slang. Tell them I do not have nor do I want a boyfriend (little do they know).

12:30: Go home and eat lunch. Stare at wall in dining room.

1:00: Go to room. Read a book.

1:30: Go back to work. Realize there is still nothing to do.

3:00: Give up on work. Go to 2^nd counterparts office, internet café, or home to drink coffee.

4:00: Take my book and go to coffee shop (this is not like ours. It’s just coffee.) Drink more coffee. Realize it’s going to rain. Decide if I want to make it home before the rain or not.

4:30: Arrive at home. Sit outside in gazebo (one bathroom which is actually outside, for 8 people, but we have a gazebo and a coy pond. Figure that out.). Read book until rain starts going sideways.

5:30: Talk with 17 year old host brother. Convince him that people who are shot in the movies don’t really die. Convince him that Gotham City is not, in fact, a real city. Tell him that I sadly do not know Baraq Obama personally. Tell him that yes, I will help him with his English homework.

6:00: Go inside. Try to integrate by watching TV with my family. Everyone disappears. When I realize I am alone, change the channel and find a really good movie that is on in English or with English subtitles.

6:50: My host mom, knowing I am watching a really good movie which is about to end, brings me my dinner.

7:00: Eat dinner while turning around and peering into the living room to try to see the end of the movie.

7:10: If it’s not raining, go play soccer. If it’s raining, go to my room and read or watch something on my computer. Usually Lost (damn you, Chica Pica).

8:00: When raining watch “El Nombre del Amor” Spanish language Soap Opera with my host mom. This is called bonding. If not raining, still playing soccer.

9:00: Go to room. Read a book or watch Lost (Pirate ship? Hmmmm the mystery deepens). If watched Lost then briefly watch Scrubs so I don’t dream about the island. Kill the bugs that are somehow inside of my bug net.

10:30: Fall asleep after reading one page of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in Spanish. (Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal) While falling asleep think to myself, “Why didn’t I bring this book in English??”

Aren’t you jealous?

So that’s about it for now! I would write more, but you know, I’m a very busy woman. I need to go, you know, make Spanish flashcards or something…

UPDATED WISH LIST (since you all have asked…)

I am assuming the following: Andy and Tara are sending me what I begged them for, and Sinneigh is sending me my identity back: Converse. Keep in mind that the heavier the more expensive and I don’t want you guys going bust. So maybe send just one or two books at a time, maybe not a library.

· Cheese. Coated in wax, it will mail just fine.

· Peanut Butter

· Decent chocolate. The chocolate here is TERRIBLE

· A Netty Pot

· The WW food guide for points (Amy? Can you get one for me? I have to fight the 5 months of eating lard once I get my own place)

· A baseball hat (all I have is one castro cap)

· Paperback books

· Kaplan GRE Language Study Manual (I really need these. Yes, I took it once, but the scores only last 5 years and I took it 6 years ago.)

· Kaplan GRE Mathematics Study Manual

· Anime on a Flash Drive (Melissa! Adrian! Clara! HELP!)

· Movies on a Flash Drive (My computer doesn’t have an optical drive)

· Any astringent based face wash

· Dr. Brommer’s Magic Soap (peppermint, lavender, eucalyptus or tea tree)

· A small bottle of Lavender Oil (helps me sleep. Shutup.)

· Garden Seeds (I have some, but would like more): basil, chives, lavender, mint, spinach, kale, ginger (a root, I know, but I wanted to try), etcetera

· Socks!!!!!

· Underwear (Feel free to leave this one for mom or sister-in-law) I’m an underwear snob, I admit. I prefer Victoria Secret size M. The ones that go on sale 5/$25. They are the only ones I have found that fit comfortably.

· Anything that you would wish you had away from your friends and family!!!

MAILING ADDRESS:

PCV Rebecca Williams

Voluntaria del Cuerpo de Paz

Apartado Postal 3158

Tegicigalpa DC, 11102

America Central

LOOK, IM IN THE PEACE CORPS: